Holly Jolly Stephanie
by phantomsfairie
Summary: Now I'm tryin my hand at a holiday story. Just something I came up with while I was supposed to be writing an English paper. Of course, I own none of the characters. Although, Janet would make my Xmas if she decided to share....:


My name is Stephanie Plum and for as much as I love Christmas, I totally suck at the whole "being in the Christmas spirit" thing. It was Christmas Eve and I was covered in spaghetti from chasing a skip who didn't want to be caught. As if that wasn't bad enough, I was due at my parents' for dinner and hadn't bought any gifts for ANYONE!

Lula, my sometimes partner in fighting crime, was knee deep in a sea of Christmas shoppers gone mad. Everyone was grabbing everything in sight. I had no idea how I was ever going to get this mission done. I sighed and waded deeper into the store. I grabbed the first pair of men's gloves I could find. One down, a million to go.

Two hours later I was done. I'd gotten my shirt ripped and lost the hair band that was holding up my hair, but I was done. I made my way to the checkout stand. As I reached into my purse for my wallet, I found a small gift wrapped box.

"Lula, did you see who put this in my bag?"

"Nope. I could barely see anything in that mess," she said gesturing to the chaos behind us.

I frowned, but shoved it back in my bag and grabbed my wallet. I'd deal with the mystery present later. I was a woman on a mission…a mission to make it through this holiday intact.

I made it home in one piece and began to sort and wrap presents. I smiled at my measly tree and the one present under it…..wait there were two. I stood there stunned for a minute and went over and looked at the packages. There was one addressed to Ranger that I'd bought and wrapped weeks ago. The other one was addressed to me. Odd. I grabbed the package I'd found in my purse and was only mildly surprised to see that the wrapping paper matched.

I settled down on my couch to stare at both packages. Crap, I didn't have time for this. I left both packages under my tree and proceeded to wrap gifts for Morelli and my family. When I was done, I eyed the packages again, but decided that I needed to shower and get ready for dinner first.

Sure enough, the packages were both still there when I got out of the shower. After I was dressed presentably for dinner, curiosity won out and I sat down to open them. The one in my purse was a key and the one from under the tree was a plain white gold chain with a heart charm. Random. I shook my head, great I had a stalker and he was nuts for riddles.

I love food. I love holiday food even more. Dinner at my parents' house is only tolerable because of the food. Holidays are the days I look forward to. My mom and grandma cook all day long and then I get to eat to my heart's (and stomach's) content.

After stuffing myself full of everything on the table, I could barely move. I'd worn a big sweater so I could discreetly unbutton my pants. I helped Mom clean up and then we all went into the living room to open one present, per tradition. Thankfully no one chose to open my gifts tonight and I was spared the ridiculing looks from my mother until tomorrow. I swear she had radar that told her that I'd waited till the last minute to do my shopping.

When it was my turn to open a gift, I saw there was one that matched the presents I'd found in my purse and apartment. I was stunned. I asked who it was from, but received only shrugs. Shaking, I opened the box. It was bigger than the others. It contained a black dress, a low cut off the shoulders number that reached my knees. Great, whoever was stalking me wanted me dressed nicely when he…or she presumably killed me. It was disturbing to think that someone was able to sneak in and out without anyone in my family seeing.

I smiled when my family ooohed and aaahed and pretended that it must be from a secret admirer that they assumed was Joe. This was good since I didn't want to ruin their holiday.

I got up after a few minutes to excuse myself and escape home. My dad stopped me in the dining room before I could go to the kitchen to get my doggy bag. He hugged me awkwardly and told me he loved me and was proud of me. It was a little odd, but a better gift than the set of pots and pans that my mother bought and attached his name to.

After receiving my doggy bag of leftovers, I grabbed my dress and headed to Joe's. We'd each be with our families the next day so we'd agreed to do our own little Christmas thing tonight. I left the dress in the car, not wanting to hear him rant about my job and its dangers.

I was sitting on Joe's couch, watching him open the Ranger's hat that I bought him. I knew it wasn't much and Joe never wore a hat, but it's the thought that counts, right? When it was my turn, I had to fake a smile when I saw it was a cookbook.

"Well, Cupcake, you were thinking of getting one anyways right?"

"Uh, yea…" Crap.

"I was thinking we could try some recipes together. Who knows, we might get good at it."

Fat chance.

"Sure," I said trying to remember to keep smiling. My eyes almost bugged out of my head when I saw another box under the back of the tree. It matched the others. Crap. Double crap. I was endangering everyone I knew! Again!

Joe saw my look and followed it to the box. He frowned and picked it up.

"It's for you."

"I know. I've been getting them all day."

"What?!" He almost yelled.

"Guess I have another stalker," I said lightly. It was easy to fake bravado when he was mad.

"Christ, Steph, it's Christmas!" he yelled.

"I know…" I started.

"That can be your gift to me."

"What?"

"Quit your job."

"I already gave you a gift."

"I'd rather you quit your job," he said looked at me sideways.

"Not happening," now I was getting mad.

"Come on, quit and we'll really get some use out of that cookbook," he said looked at me straight on.

"Wha…" Shit, I think I know what's coming.

"Marry me," he said getting down on one knee.

"Shit."

"Is that a yes?" he asked, offering me a black velvet box.

"No!"

"Why not?" he asked, getting up and looking angry.

"I'm not marrying you just so you can have your way and make me quit!"

"Come on, Cupcake, you know I love you."

"If you loved me, truly loved me, you wouldn't want to change me," I said facing him. Not to mention that I was in love with someone else.

"Steph…"

"No."

I grabbed my stalker box and walked out the door, leaving Morelli standing there with the ring box in his hand and his mouth hanging open.

I got home and sat on my couch, hoping that sitting would help me catch my breath and keep me from crying. It didn't, but remembering the box I'd found at Joe's did. Curiosity killed the cat, but not the Stephanie, at least not yet. I opened the box and found a pair of kick ass black fuck me pumps. I laid out the dress on my bed and put the shoes, key, and necklace next to it. This was getting stranger by the minute. I was shocked I hadn't received any threats. Whoever was doing this was good.

I was staring at my gifts when there was a knock at the door. I held my breath, maybe they'd go away. Another knock. Crap. I grabbed my unloaded gun out of the cookie jar on my way to the door. At least I could give whoever it was a scare. I looked out the peep hole and saw….Dillon. Mental head slap. I opened the door.

"Hey Dillon, Merry Christmas."

"Same to you, this package was dropped off for you a lil while ago, but you weren't home."

"Thanks, Dillon," I said, taking the package. Of course it matched the others.

"Hey, Dillon, did you see who dropped it off?"

"Yea, the UPS guy, why?"

"Just wondering."

I smiled and thanked him again and shut the door. So either my stalker dressed up as a UPS guy or really hired one.

Sitting back on my couch, I opened the gift. I was a GPS and a note. The note read: _Merry Christmas! Put on the outfit and necklace. Follow the GPS. Don't forget the key._

To go or not to go. To go. Whoever this was, was good. He'd sufficiently sparked my curiosity and I wasn't about to miss finding out who was behind this. I got dressed and grabbed my gun and loaded it. I put it in my purse and grabbed the GPS. I knew that Ranger had a tracker in my bag, so I felt brave. He'd send someone out if things looked weird. Hell, I'd probably have someone following me anyways. I didn't know if the Merry Men got holidays off. I hadn't heard from Ranger in days and assumed he was in Miami with his daughter. I wish he'd come home. I missed having him around. I'd love to have him say to me what Joe did. Sigh. Still, Tank was probably in charge and would be watching my back.

I got into my car and turned on the GPS. I started to follow where it told me to go. I started to get nervous when I realized it was taking me out of Trenton. Someone must be following me by now, right?

I was now on the outskirts and completely lost. This didn't appear to be a huge residential area since there was absolutely nothing around. The GPS stopped when I approached an almost hidden driveway. Wonderful. I was going to die in the middle of nowhere. Well, no turning back now. I saw headlights a ways behind me and felt better and turned into the drive.

I pulled up to a nice looking house that had lights on downstairs. I was shaking as I climbed out of the car. There was another present on the porch. Hhhmmm, I was expected. I opened the box to find only a note that read: _Use the key._

I shrugged, took a deep breath, and opened the door. It was quiet. The fire was crackling in the living room that I could see from the foyer. There was another note on the floor in front of me: _The first time I saw you, I wanted you. _

Starting to get scared. No one was popping up. There was a trail of notes leading into the living room. I picked up the next one: _I knew I loved you ages ago._ I followed the trail: _It took me almost losing my life to know I was in love with you. _…_I've wanted to tell you, but didn't know how…_._I want you to be happy. I want to be your everything…_._I'm ready for my chance. I know that you are the one I want. Forever._

I looked up to see the living room. It was lit with only the fire in the fireplace. A huge Christmas tree was in the corner. It glowed with a hundred tiny lights. Under it was the gift I'd bought for Ranger. Omigod.

"Babe."

I turned to see Ranger sitting in the dark in a chair. I gasped and he stood and crossed the room to me.

"Rrranger,"I stuttered.

"You look stunning. Beautiful, as always," he said taking me in his arms.

"How….but….why…..how….why?" I stammered.

"I couldn't think of a better way to tell you how I felt." He kissed my forehead.

My heart began to race.

"I had a lot of help. I wanted to make this Christmas perfect for you, for us."

"What do you mean?"

"Well of course the guys helped with placing presents for you to find, but Dillon and your dad helped too."

"My dad?"

"Well I went to talk to him and I ended up telling him my plan and he wanted to help."

"What did you want to talk to him about?"

"This…" he whispered as he handed me another box.

It was hard not to tear the paper. I stopped when I realized I held in my hand a small box, very much like the one Joe had. Omigod.

"Ranger?" I asked looking up, I couldn't open the box.

"Babe," he started as he got down on one knee, "You know I don't do anything half assed. I've had a lot of time to think about this. We fit. I'm done with the whole "in the wind" deal. I'm tired of not belonging anywhere. I want to make a real home, with you, if you'll have me. Will you marry me?"

I started to cry, "Ranger…"

"I know we haven't even done the relationship thing, but you and I both know that what we have is on a higher level. I'm ready to give it my all. This is going to work. I promise you."

"Ranger…" Oh God, I can't breathe.

"I love you, Steph. I'm in love with you. This is what I want."

"Ranger!"

"Steph?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes!"

I flung myself into his arms. He held me and kissed me softly on my lips before pulling me away and slipping a modest three diamond engagement ring onto my finger. I stood stunned, then suddenly looked up, "Where are we?"

"I told you the Batcave was forever," he said lacing his fingers in mine. Then he picked me up and carried me up the stairs.

Merry Christmas!


End file.
